Here's the thing, I like to stress myself out and put immense amounts of pressure on myself. Sometimes it feels so intense that I feel like I might implode. What the fuck is wrong with me? Plenty, it would seem. At no point is there an easy ride in my job. I seem to freak out at every point. Get the order, freak out. Try to book the sessions, freak out. Attempt to make the work, freak out. Cold work it, freak out. Pack it up, freak out. Go to hand it over, total freak out. Is it good enough? Will they like it if it is a bit different? Is that minute bubble ok? Fucking hell, see what I mean? Yesterday I worked myself into a right state. So much so that I began to question is it all worth it? MAybe I should just go back to schlepping tea for the man? Learn to zone out with morons customers and just do the 9-5 like everyone else? Just live for the weekends?
MAybe I just have to be a little kinder to myself? I just got back from a super intensive working stint in Adelaide, 5 days team blowing back to back and I didn't even stop when I got home, just hit the ground running. I love being busy but I don't love being stressed. I think after this weeks over, I'm taking myself to the movies. Maybe a swim in the morning then a choc top in the afternoon watching mad max? I fucking love the movies because it is the only place I can totally zone out and forget everything else. No emails, no phone, no worries.
That seems like a solid plan kid. I'm glad we had this talk.